Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Seven Year Itch

At midnight, Robbie and I marked our anniversary with the following exchange:

"Robbie, are you ever coming to bed?"

"Yeah, I'm just flossing."

"Oh, ok. Bring the nasal aspirator with you when you come upstairs."

"The what?"

"The nasal aspirator...the snot sucker for the baby."

"Oh, ok."

And End Scene

Seven years ago, it was a gray and wet Leap Day in Utah. We spent the morning digging my car out of a snow bank, then we hit the road with a sparkly polyester wedding dress and Robbie's crushed velvet tux hanging in the backseat. As we merged onto the freeway headed for Las Vegas, I popped in a CD so we could sing "Going to the Chapel" at the top of our lungs. Somewhere in the middle of the southern Utah desert, Robbie called his mom to tell her he had been dating this girl named Cassi for the past two weeks. He thought it was best to introduce us considering the phone call he would be making to her later on that night.

In our 22-year-old minds, we thought we were going to pull off the greatest practical joke ever. Seven years and three kids later, turns out the joke was on us.

Sucking snot out of a small child at 1am is certainly a far cry from sucking down cocktails the size of a small child in Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville at 1am. But either way it's painful to get out of bed the next morning.

Happy Anniversary dear!


  1. AW! That's the best wedding/anniversary story I've heard. Congratulations!

  2. I am so happy for you guys! I would say that was the best joke EVER! I remember getting a phone call too... and being like "you married who?!?" Really... was I that surprised... no. :)

  3. Happy Anniversary!!! You guys have the best wedding story!

  4. Aw reality, how sharp thy sting. It's not very romantic to suck snot out of a baby's nose but isn't it wonderful that you have each other to depend on when times are rough. It may not be all hearts and flowers but remember you could have married Charlie Sheen.

  5. Okay, after I wrote that last post I realized that since you never watch tv you probably have no idea about Charlie Sheen's very public meltdown, so my comment would seem very strange. I was just trying to say that buying gifts or flowers is easy. It's the things like holding someone's hair back while they throw up, walking the floor with a sick child, someone holding you while you sob. Looking at the new life you've created while sitting in a blow up pool. Those are the things that bind you together and prove your love. You have so much in each other. Yeah practical jokes!